Teaching children to share is a hard task. But by taking it in stages and bringing empathy for the child’s view to the fore, parents can build peace. So how do we encourage children to share? `Ways to teach your child to share through repeated exposure of modelling, consequences of actions and by association.

1) Model sharing behaviours in front of your children
Modelling employs a ‘monkey see, monkey do’ mechanism. Because you are an adult and children tend to imitate adults, your act of sharing is likely to be emulated by your child. Demonstrate sharing behaviours not just when playing or dining but in as many aspects of daily life as possible.

2) Reward acts of sharing
Apart from that, what you can do is ensure that any sharing behaviour from you or someone else is rewarded with a pleasant outcome that is socially appropriate of the society we live in. For example, when someone shares something with you, try expressing joy and gratitude towards that person. Do the same when your child shares something with you or praise them when they share anything with others.

3) Give positive reinforcement
By all means use positive reinforcement when you see examples of good sharing, but be careful not to overdo it. There’s a difference between praising good behavior and simply acknowledging it. Instead of saying, ‘What fantastic sharing!’ say ‘Sharing your blocks with Billy made him feel so welcome in our house’. This kind of specific feedback gets kids thinking about the positive effects that their sharing has on others. This also teaches your child that generosity is something that is highly approved of which not only benefits the receiver, but the giver as well. You can reinforce the good feeling of compassion by teaching your children that bringing happiness to others is a great reward in itself because you can actually rejoice and share in their happiness.

4) Give to Charity
The holidays are the perfect time to talk to your children about sharing with others less fortunate. Participate in a program such as a children’s shelter toy collection or a coat drive where your child can donate some of her own toys or clothes that are no longer in use. Or you can bring your child to the store and have her pick out a few new toys that will be donated to charity.

5) Role Play
If your child is a master at saying no when asked to share, think about a little role reversal. Get down on the floor for some playtime and, when your little one asks for something — the yellow block or a turn at banging the keys on his toy piano — simply say no. When he gets upset, talk to him about how he feels right now and how he wouldn’t want to make his friends feel the same way. You can remind him of this moment the next time you’re at a playdate and he hesitates to share.