No – You can’t spoil a young baby. If your newborn is crying, it’s because he needs your help. If you respond calmly and consistently, it helps your baby learn that the world is a safe and predictable place:

Newborns cry because they have basic needs — to be fed, held, comforted, and loved. Their needs are actually the same as their wants at this age. And it is your job to listen to your instincts and respond to those needs and wants as best you can. If that means toting your infant around in a sling while you do the laundry or getting up every few hours throughout the night to nurse, so be it. That won’t spoil a newborn. Far from it. When you respond to your newborn’s cries and try to meet her needs, you’re teaching her to feel secure and confident. And that security and confidence will result in less crying and more independence in the long run. That’s because young babies who feel a deep trust in their parents tend to develop a secure sense of self that helps them self-soothe later on.

 

Newborns aren’t manipulative. Worried that your baby may be using her whimpers and tears to manipulate you? Even your precious angel isn’t smart enough for that kind of complicated thought at this young age. Newborns’ needs and wants are much more straightforward. So each time you or your hubby quickly responds to your infant’s cries for food, a cuddle, or help nodding off to sleep, you’re reinforcing the notion that you’ll be there for your little one and that she can count on you. This notion will not spoil a newborn but will instead help her develop a healthy bond with her parents. Of course there will be times when you can’t get to your infant as quickly as you might like (hey, mommies have to pee, too!), but responding to your infant’s needs as best you can will let your infant know she’s loved. And guess what? A baby who’s secure in her bond with her parents is a happier, less-needy baby — and becomes an older baby who has the courage to take on the world without clinging to you.

 

It’s a little different with older babies. Once your baby gets to be about six months old, however, her wants will get more sophisticated and they may not be the same thing as her needs. For instance, an older baby may want to pull your hair or earring or she may want that TV remote with all the interesting buttons. In cases like that, it’s good to set some limits and teach discipline — that way, your baby will be more capable of understanding the concept that Mommy doesn’t always give me what I want, but she still loves me. For now, though, while your little one is still so young, remember that you can’t spoil a newborn — but you can teach her to trust in you and the world.

 

Yes – Sometimes you need to cater to your baby’s every whimper; at other times, you need to let him figure things out on his own:

Learn your baby’s signals. Many parents don’t realize that crying isn’t always a sign of distress. “Infants use crying to convey a range of feelings, from hunger to exhaustion to overstimulation,” Dr. Gorski says. Which means that rushing to hold and amuse your infant isn’t always the right response. “Try your usual routines for comforting,” Dr. Gorski advises. “If the crying persists, your child may just need time to rest without social stimulation.” The break may do you both some good. “Spending some time alone is how a baby learns to entertain and soothe herself,” Dr. Buchholz explains. “If a parent is constantly misreading her signals, the child may think it’s natural to be held all the time.” If your child averts her eyes, whines, or pulls away from you, it’s time for a break.

 

Watch your own behavior. At 6 to 8 months, babies begin what is called social referencing. “They read their parents’ facial expressions and actions to understand how to behave in different situations,” Dr. Gorski explains. “If you appear anxious every time your baby encounters something new, he’ll think there’s something to be anxious about and become more needy.”

 

Behaving in a calm, encouraging manner lets your child know that it’s okay to explore. For example, if your baby starts to crawl into another room, don’t jump up and run after him. Instead, as long as the place he’s wandered into is safe, follow him and offer words of encouragement.

 

Let him cry — a little. If your child is struggling with a toy, allow him to fumble some. He may wail a bit but may also learn a new skill. “Coping with minor frustration can be a good learning opportunity for babies,” Dr. Mrazek says.

 

Your baby may also fuss when you try to establish routines such as bedtime. “It’s important for you — and your child — that everyone get enough rest. There’s nothing wrong with enforcing bedtime,” Dr. Buchholz says.

 

Does this mean you should let your baby cry herself to sleep? “It’s never the first choice,” Dr. Mrazek says. “But if you have already tried every sleep-inducing nightly ritual you can think of, it may be the only way.” He reassures parents that it will probably be harder on them than on the baby.

 

Ultimately, employing all of these tactics — judiciously — will teach your baby the two most important lessons: that his parents will always be there for him and that maybe, just maybe, he won’t always need them.